one of my relatives, who I hadn't seen in a long time, pat me on my behind and proceeded to tell me I had filled out. Who says that? Seriously! But then I realized there was a time when a comment like that would plunge me into despair, making me feel both guilty and embarrassed. This time, however, I wasn't either of those things. I shrugged it off, chuckled and told myself it was okay because I don't need to look perfect for God to love me. I'm okay exactly the way I am.
I realized at this ripe age of 61 that I've come full circle. I'm actually okay with living a normal, unremarkable life. I'm most happy living a calm, slow, simple life. I don't have to be the best! How liberating is that?
Nowadays, everyone is in such a hurry. Rush here, rush there. Go big or go home. Volunteer for this, show up for that. Make every moment count. But what if all this striving for excellence is not what I want? What if it leaves me exhausted and drained of any joy? Does that mean I'm not enough?
What if I'm actually happy with this less than perfect body and don't care to have washboard abs and that I have more body fat than I should? This is me, take it or leave it.
What if my home is not sparkling clean and I have dust bunnies (how horrific) and that some days I would rather just sit in my garden, read a good book and just enjoy the beauty of the day God has created...that I'd rather not dust the furniture or pull out the vacuum cleaner, thank you very much. What if instead of cooking a three course meal, I would rather just order take out? Does that mean I'm not enough?
What if some consider me too religious or not religious enough?
What if I don't have a formal prayer life and that instead of reciting prayer after prayer I just talk to God all day long, like a treasured friend, as though He were sitting beside me all day. What if I chose to put aside all this formality and instead chose a simpler way by immersing myself in His presence and include Him in everything I do? Is that enough? What if I'm all right with running my prayer ministry and growing in the spirit that way, as I read and research, in the hopes of enriching someone else's faith, offering a word of encouragement or bringing a smile to someone's day? Am I not enough?
What if I put my family first before church obligations? That I'm a mom who loves hanging out with her kids and that sometimes they have to come first even if they're no longer little kids, am I enough then? Sacred scripture tells me I am: "She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.....charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."
Who do I have to please? Why is being enough so important and to whom? The only person I have to please is God and I know in my heart that for Him, I am enough. You see, I belong to Christ. My name is carved in the palm of His hand and He knows every hair on my head. He created me to be a mom, a wife, a daughter and a friend. He loves me in spite of my failings and thus for him, I am enough.
So for today, I smile because I know all I want is a simple life. I am at peace with that, at peace with all my faults and failings, at peace living a humble, quiet life, loving my husband and my beautiful kids and most importantly, loving my Lord with a heart filled with gratitude for every single fault and blessing I possess. I am enough.️